When guys think about their relationships with women, they are often confused when told they need to inject a little romance into the proceedings. This is because most men think of being romantic as an event, like climbing to the summit of Mount Everest. Women think of being romantic as a state of being, like left-handedness or civil libertarianism.

Men, if you are going to overcome this difference in philosophies, you are going to have to learn how to be romantic every day. You have to think romantically, speak romantically and act romantically in all that you do. In short, you have to become a romantic. This will require a whole new set of guidelines for living. You will have to redefine your entire thought process.

The first thing you have to learn is that spontaneity does not necessarily equal romance. In most cases where men are concerned, the word “spontaneous” is synonymous with the word “forgot.” So, when you’re on your way to pick up that special lady, and you “spontaneously” remember that it’s her birthday, do not stop at the nearest retail market to buy her a gift. She will know where the gift came from, and at which point in the day you purchased it. Women are very smart. “Convenience store” is not another name for “spontaneous store.”

Some men will tell you that the most romantic gift you can give any woman is a gift you made yourself. These men are utterly full of crap. Unless you can squeeze coal into diamonds with your bare hands, your lady friend is not interested in seeing your art project. She may say something like, “Oh, how sweet!” What she’s really thinking is, “I know somebody who is not getting any tonight.” The most romantic gift that you can give any woman is a gift that comes with either a lifetime warranty or some form of insurance.

When it comes to gifts and romance, there’s a simple rule of thumb. If it can cook your dinner, take wrinkles out of your clothes, clean any portion of your house or yard, or excite you sexually in any way, it’s not a gift for her, and you get no credit for purchasing it. You don’t even get credit if you use it to cook her dinner, take wrinkles out of her clothes, etc. No romantic gift makes work easier or makes more work. Save those gifts for after you’re married.

When learning how to be romantic, men must take note of how to properly plan a night on the town. Most women will be pleased with dinner and a movie. Before you breathe a sigh of relief, remember that that the phrase “dinner and a movie” means something significantly different to a woman than a man.

For instance, if the restaurant where you take your lady has a tablecloth, you are probably doing well as far as dinner goes, and will receive credit for a romantic evening. If the establishment has a placemat, you are on shakier ground, and may or may not receive credit. If the placemat comes on a tray with your meal, you will not receive credit for the “dinner” part of “dinner and a movie.”

The movie part of the equation is much simpler to figure out. You do not get credit for any films that feature car chases, explosions, or kung fu fighting as major plot devices. You get extra credit for films with foreign subtitles, young lovers who die of painful diseases, and any movie based on a book from the Oprah Book Club.

It’s not really hard to learn how to be romantic. Put it in terms that most girls understand. Being romantic is like being involved in a sporting event that never ends. Every time you look at your watch when out on a date, you lose a point. Every time you bring her a single flower “just because,” you gain three. The goal isn’t to win. No man can win at the game of romance. You just want to send the game into overtime.